THE ADULT - The Adult ego state is the data-processing computer we all carry
around in our heads. It processes incoming information just like a high-speed electronic
computer - and especially like the large supercomputers used to keep track of satellites
and global weather patterns. It "crunches data" swiftly, and without emotional biases
or other distortion. It observes reality, and examines and compares the accuracy
and completeness of the information it observes. It estimates probabilities, examines
alternatives, and presents us with options. It assesses the implications and consequences
of our actions, and seeks to apply the widest possible perspective to any issue
we deal with. Unlike our Parent and our Adapted Child, which operate in the past,
it operates in the present, using information from all of our senses (from what
we see, hear, touch, taste, and smell), as well as from our Natural Child's intuitive
understanding of events that unfold before us. The more practice it gets, the faster
and more efficiently it can do its job.
Our Adult does not issue judgments, nor does it deal with issues of right or wrong,
good or bad, and moral or immoral, all of which are the concern of our Parent. Our
Adult does not give advice, like our Parent might do. Rather, it gives, and seeks,
information. Our Adult does not criticize, like our Parent might do. Rather, it
describes what it sees. Thus, it would never say, "The dress is ugly," as our Parent
might say. It would say, instead, "The dress is red, with short sleeves." Our Adult
is detached and dispassionate, as well as open-minded and objective. When it is
free to operate, it can provide us with all the relevant facts we need to make clear,
reasoned, decisions in life. When it is not free to operate, this information can
elude us.
Unfortunately, our Parent and Adapted Child often prevent it from operating.